Sunday, July 3, 2011

Marriage 101

In the last few weeks I have been contemplating marriage and all that it involves. There is a lot more to it than just planning a beautiful wedding and saying 'I do'. But what do you do in a marriage to make it successful? I am not an expert by any means but I do know from my own experience the things that helped our marriage grow and also the things that caused little bumps in the road.

You've heard it said that marriage takes work and boy does it ever. Even the happiest of couples end up in disagreements so it is best to prepare ahead of time for these situations. Jeremy and I have been fairly good at dealing with the various little issues that come up between us, but there are times when it takes a little more work to get past them. Communication is key. I know it sounds clique but it truly is. If one of us is not understanding the other correctly or doesn't know all the facts, it can prolong or even make worse the situation at hand. And be watchful of the tone of your voice when speaking with your spouse. It can have a huge impact on either finding a solution to the problem or escalating it. At times I have snapped at Jeremy for something and that obviously does not accomplish any good. However, when I speak in a calm and kind voice expressing my feelings, we are able to move towards a resolution.

Marriage is about commitment. You are now married to the one you'll spend the rest of your life with (at least we hope). All too often you hear about people who were married and then are suddenly divorced. What happened to the commitment? In typical marriage vows it plainly says 'I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, and, forsaking all others, pledge to be faithful to you til death do us part.' It saddens me to see so many people walking away from the very ones they vowed to never leave even in the hard times. Our first dance as husband and wife was to a song that speaks of how our marriages are worth fighting for, after all, our marriages are not like gym memberships that you can sign up for and then cancel at any time. The promises that are made and contract that is signed is meant for keeps.

And last but certainly not least, marriage needs plenty of affection. Who cares if you look a little silly calling each other by pet names, you and your 'Cutie pie' or 'Bun Bun' (my name from Jeremy :D ) will keep that fun, loving spirit alive in your relationship. It is about showing love and demonstrating it on a daily basis. Give kisses and hugs often. Do kind things for them throughout the day like helping with the chores or sending a 'I'm thinking about you' text message. It's all the little things that show someone you care.

I feel so honored and blessed to call Jeremy my husband. He is a wonderful man who has been an amazing support and help mate. As christians it is our duty to uphold the biblical principle of one man and one woman in marriage for life. We need to support and help prepare young couples for lasting marriages. What a truly blessed thing God has ordained!

1 comment:

  1. Wow! :D You really hit home here, Nicole. I feel the same way about our new marriage and ways to avoid all the bumps. "Tone of voice" is so important. Thank you for sharing your nicknames, I definitely giggled at "Bun Bun". I'll admit my husband calls me "Pie", or "Hat" and he used to call me "Burrito Girlfriend" :D Of course this isn't in front of our roommates ;)