God has placed me in the family I'm in and planned it that way since the foundation of the world. He knew the struggles and drama that would eventually ensue. He knows it is where I am supposed to be, for His glory. I don't want to get into all the personal details on here, just know that it has been a trying time with many difficult conversations. We have had this issue come up in times past but it just keeps coming up. I know God will help me get through this and also help me to deal with the situation better. Because I sure know that I can't do this on my own. Left to my own devises, things don't always end pretty.
Another reason for being antsy is the coming new year. It is less than 2 days away and I am looking forward to all that God has planned for it. I'm excited to be participating in the 'Siesta Scripture Memory Team' challenge for 2011. What's funny is last week I was thinking about the first verse that I'll be memorizing in January. I didn't have one in mind yet so I prayed that God would show me what verse I need to be meditating on at this time. It wasn't too long after that the situation with my family left me in disarray. I inherited my father's temper so my behavior was anything but loving. It was that evening that I was praying and having my quiet time with God that these words popped in my head
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,but have not love, it profits me nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
God was sure to tell me that I really need to remember that I must love others, even those who are difficult and mean. Boy is it hard, but with His strength I know I can do it.
After that verse, on every other night this week, God has given me another verse to add to my list to memorize and meditate on. It's exciting to have Him directing my paths. I may stumble but He is right there helping me to get back up and move forward. He is always there to love and instruct. That is why this scripture memory team is going to be so great. I love how Beth put it:
"Look at it this way: you’re going to be meditating on something: unforgiveness, toxic memories, misery, lust, greed, dissatisfaction, jealousy, competition. Choose Scripture! Christ Himself said as a man thinks, so is he. He also said His words are spirit and life. This is work worth doing, Sweet Thing. Never – NOT ONCE – have I ever known anyone to get to the end of a Scripture memory commitment and say that it didn’t make any real difference. Not a single time.".
So I am rooting and raring to go for the Siesta Scripture Memory Team 2011 challenge to begin! I have my verses ready and my mini 3-ring binder ready. If you can't find a cute mini binder like mine, Beth is offering a free PDF file of the official SSMT spiral notebook on her website. That way you can print the pages from home and put it together with a spiral spine or a punch a hole and add a ring. Either way, God is going to be doing amazing things in my life and anyone else who decides to take this challenge. Will you?!