I have to admit that the last few weeks have been rough. I've been in a real stinky mood, with just about everything. I just wanted to be mad. Whether it was work or friends, church activities or planning dinner, I was not happy with it. I guess you could have called me a real debbie downer. I would "try" to commune with God and get back in fellowship with Him but for some reason my efforts weren't working (hmm, I wonder why!?). What I didn't see was that while I was busy being a grump, God was sitting there patiently waiting for me to come around and see how ridiculous I'd been acting. My Father-in-law put it best when he described us in our rebellion as a child trying to wring and twist away from his parents grasp, but all the while God continues to hold our hand, no matter how much we squirm.
It wasn't until this past weekend that I finally came around and 'saw the light', so to speak. I had promised some of the high school girls from AWANA that I would be a community judge at their home school debate club semi-finals tournament. While conducting my judging duties, 5 high school age young ladies each shared their own original illustrated oratory about a topic of their choice. Some of the topics included intelligent design, world hunger and the sanctity of life. And I'll tell you what, these girls, although in totally different stages in life, taught me a lesson or two on being appreciative of my blessings and this moment in time that I've been given. For those of us who live in the United States, we have been blessed with so much abundance and we don't even see it. We've been gifted with an education, our jobs and even shoes! There is so much to be thankful for and I had been missing it. I overlooked the blessings because of my own pride and selfishness.
When I got home from the debates, I was in the kitchen working on dinner when Jeremy came home. I shared with him my experience at the tournament. He told me that he had been praying for me and also asked my Mother-in-law to pray too. It just warmed my heart to think that even in my terrible funk, even when I was not very fun to be around, and when I couldn't even stand myself, my loved ones still stood by and prayed for me.
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39
And like my family sticking by me, I know God is there, even in my hard times and in my stupid times. He's there through it all. That part in the verse that says 'the present nor the future', that means even when I sin, now and any future sins. Christ has already paid the price once and for all and because I have accepted Him as my personal Lord and Savior, He will continue to hold my hand through these ups and downs in my walk with Him. Praise God He never lets go!